Paying for college: How to start the conversation

How to have the college talk

Going to college might have always been the plan—or you may have just decided. But talking about it, especially with your family, isn’t always the most fun thing to do. You might not know where to go, what to study, how to pay for it—it’s not easy to address these things, but it’s still an important conversation to have.

5 Tips for tough conversations about paying for college

1. Choose the right time and place

This conversation isn’t easy so it might not be the best time to have it at midnight, or somewhere loud and busy. Wait until you’re in a comfortable environment, like your home, and at a time when your family isn’t working, in school, or otherwise busy. This can help free up their minds and make talking about college easier.

2. Do some research

Going into the conversation with some ideas about what you’re looking for when it comes to college can help frame your conversation. You can also sit down with your family and search for colleges, understand your financial aid options, and look into private student loans if you need to. This can help kickstart the conversation, too.

3. Understand expectations

You may have everything figured out already, but your family might have other plans in mind. Make sure you express your expectations and have an open mind as your family expresses theirs. What are you expecting as far as finances go? Do you plan to have your family pay for college? Will you both contribute to paying? Does your family expect you to apply for grants and scholarships, or take out federal and private student loans? How will you pay back your loans if you use them? It’s important to discuss these things now so no one’s surprised later on.

4. Keep an open dialogue

College is a big deal, so try not to keep any thoughts, feelings, and ideas bottled up. Lay it all out there. But remember that you should keep the same grace for your family and let them be just as open, and they might not be on the same page. Understand that your family might not be able to afford every single thing you want out of your college experience. They may not agree with the major you want to pursue. You may not want to go to school where they want you to go. There are a ton of things you could agree or disagree on, but make sure to keep the conversation open and respectful.

5. Don’t rush into anything

You don’t have to have the college conversation just one time. Take your time, weigh all your options, and make sure you and your family understand everything you’re in for.

Just talk it out

There’s no perfect way to have the paying-for-college conversation—just make sure you try. Give yourself the time and space to feel confident in your decision.